Ready, Get Set, Let Go!

Last night, I couldn’t sleep. Though lately I don’t have the sympathy to believe in signs, I asked my little Fritz to give in to my appeal; If I should throw away the smallest hope in me to get back and win the person I sincerely love but unfortunately left me, then he’ll give me a sign and he’ll slap it onto my face. It was so yesterday when she demanded for space, now I want my freedom off her. The last time I saw Jeska, she was cursing me and telling me that I should marry all the servers and machines in my office. Come to think of it, when it comes to a real love drama, when is the art of compromise become compromising? Do we need distance to get close? Are women really capable of being an astronaut to float around in an empty space?

The next day, I opened my eyes for a possible shoot-you-in-the-head sign. In the morning, nothing. I still hoped for it for I still have the entire afternoon and evening to wait. I have been waiting and I have waited for nothing, so i went home. I should have been delighted for I did not see any sign, it only meant that i must continue hoping for us to be together again, but i suddenly remembered what Sarah Thomas of Serendipity said, “Maybe, the absence of signs is the sign.”and that’s just it; no signs at all so It’s over, I have to deal with it and move on.

That day would be the last time I cried for Jeska. Im saying goodbye for good. Even if she put a knife inside of me as the world stood witness to my embarrassment, never i wished her Karma nor i got angry with her. Like how the little Anne Frank understood it, I, for one should too; that in spite of everything, no matter how anyone wrecks your heart or whatever anybody has to tell you, people are all really good at heart, and I think everyone deserves a second chance but never a third or fourth.

I have gone enough, what have i really got? Bruises and lessons. I’m scared and it’s ok, but i cannot let this fear turn me into a complete asshole. It’s time to pick up myself and go on. Maybe, what felt like an end was only just the beginning of something else.